Life & Living Systems

 What issues do you feel need discussed now that we can “create bioartificial organs” and “implant chips” in people?

Since science can now create bioartifical organs and implants in people, there are some serious ethical and even physical concerns to be discussed.  There is a substantial body of evidence to conclude that R.F.I.D. chips- which are surgically placed under the skin- are a way to track people wherever they are in the globe and perhaps that they are even a form of mind-control. Do we really need the government to be surgically inserting things in our skin and to know where we are at any given moment? The “convenience” of these chips are stressed as a way to store medical records when one goes to the doctor- but the chips actually have to be surgically removed before an M.R.I. can happen or else it is very dangerous to a person’s health. How “convenient” is that? Bio-artificial organs are a mixed bag in terms of health benefits versus detriment. While they could potentially save lives, the concern is that the host body might recognize the organ as an invading foreign body and the host’s immune system may fight the organ.

Based on what you know, how would you explain the term “Biosphere”?

The biosphere is the global sum of all ecosystems. It is also the global ecological system which integrates all living beings and their relationships, including their interaction with the elements of the lithosphere, hydrosphere and atmosphere. Starting with a process of biogenesis or biopoesis, the biosphere is estimated to have evolved at least 3.5 billion years ago. In a broader sense; biospheres are any closed, self-regulating systems containing ecosystems.

What is your assessment of the value of Biophysics to Chinese Medicine?

Biophysics is a useful science which gives us measurements of the effects of acupuncture needles placed strategically in the body. Without data taken on physical effects of needles, we have nothing but faith or “the wisdom of the sages” on which to rely, which is not satisfactory to the Western mind. Although acupuncture as a physical and energy medicine transcends certain limitations of Biophysics which has no way of measuring the Vital Energies or emotions in any quantifiable way (with the exception of Kirlian photography which gives visual evidence of emotions that is still unquantifiable),  Biophysics is nevertheless a valuable tool with which to measure the physical effects of needles on the body.

Energy and Energy Medicine

What evidence is there for acupuncture being effective energy medicine?

“Vital Energies” is the term used to describe the energies of living bodies which are not capable of being measured by physical instruments nor fall under the umbrella of the Science of Physics. How could one possibly measure the energy re-organization or energy release of a good cry after Lung points have been needled (the Lungs being the organ connected to grief?) Emotion is energy is motion, but science has no way to measure emotions accept for their effect on the physical body. The intimate connection between the organs and non-physical states such as emotions show the deeply subtle and energetic basis of acupuncture. In contrast, allopathic medicine only deals with physical ailment in a way that doesn’t address the underlying cause of disease, which is often negative emotion. Also, the fact that an acupuncturist can needle a remote meridian point on the body that is somehow connected to an organ five feet away from the point is indicative of an energetic connection between that point and the organ.

What is the importance of Kirlian photography?

Kirlian photography is useful because it is able to give a visual representation of human emotions and energies in the body in a way that most standard instruments of measurement cannot. Such information is visually depicted by various degrees and variations of brightness, color, and patterns of light. This visual information can be interpreted through intuition and the knowledge of healers who can interpret the meaning of different aura colors. In fact, it is said by supporters of Kirlian photography that it photographs the aura or the etheric body, which gives evidence for non-physical energy and a spiritual or energetic dimension of animate objects that defies strict physical laws. For example, if part of a leaf is chopped off, the etheric body of the leaf still shows up on camera. This shows that there is an energy body associated with animate objects that has a distinct identity separate from the physical body. This evidence seems to point to a non-physical energy body of all animate objects- including humans- that survives after death. Kirlian photography also proved to be useful in visually revealing the 700 points on the human body associated with Chinese medicine which showed up brightest in photographing the human body.

Why might human intent effect health?

In Quantum Physics, we learned that the expectation of the experimenter determined the outcome of whether light showed up as a particle or a wave. We also saw that the experimenter’s thoughts affected the nature of reality down to a sub-atomic level. If human thoughts can affect and change reality on a sub-atomic level- and EVERYTHING is made of sub-atomic particles- including our bodies- it only makes sense that human intent and thought would affect the health of our bodies.

Week 11

Acupuncture as Effective Energy Medicine

Acupuncture is effective energy medicine because it works directly on Qi (roughly translated as energy) to get it properly flowing again. When energy is trapped, it creates blockages in the Qi mechanism and often in the Liver, which is responsible for coursing Qi all over the body. Trapped energy from negative emotions can cause organ damage to any number of organs, especially the liver and heart. The nice thing about acupuncture is that it not only removes Qi blockages, boosts Qi vacuity and Blood- but by needling acupuncture points, the corresponding organ traced to this meridian also discharges the negative emotion held by this organ. Negative emotion is stuck energy, which acupuncture can help clear through the appropriate placing of the needle, no psycho-therapy required.

Human Intent as it Affects Health

I have mixed feelings about how strongly intent effects health, particularly because I’ve experienced strange healing miracles without trying, and then spent years trying to get my health back in order with super strong intentions and very slow results. I think that certain illnesses are there to teach us certain lessons, and until we learn those lessons, we won’t fully get better, no matter how hard we intend to heal our bodies. Healing our bodies sometimes means learning different ways of emotionally relating to ourselves and others. I have found that to be the case in trying to heal Poly-cystic Ovarian Disorder and uterine fibroids. Breaking up is hard to do- especially when you get an ovarian cyst every time you do it.

In the Vajrayana Buddhist center in Tucson, I layed on a crystal healing table with gold-plates spinning behind quartz surrounding me and sugilite on my 3^rd eye (which is supposed to provide insight into the cause of disease) and was told by spirit that the murder of my father caused the pattern with men that gave me P.C.O.S. The gift or lesson of P.C.O.S has been an intense re-wiring of my relationship scripts in which I am friends with lovers first and foremost, and we can get through any difficulty and still be friends because I am not self-destroying in the name of “love.” My body cannot afford any more romantic tragedies, and so I am learning different ways to relate to the opposite sex and getting weekly acupuncture to try and heal my body with physical/energy medicine as well as doing the necessary emotional work to heal. If I did not have a physical illness with which to grapple, I might have never dealt with my romantic tragedy tendencies to give over my power and try to save men.

Life & Living Systems

How do I know I am a living system?

This is a funny question to me, because I was once upon a time married to another Scorpio gothic magician, and one of our favorite things to say was, “Our love is dead already. We’re dead already,” in some pre-homage to the inevitable End. Since the End is Inevitable (in our lives, our love, or both), we celebrated our dead-ness atemporally! We found ourselves in a kind of liberative artistic bardo where “being” became more important than “doing.” The dead don’t have to do anything at all, and yet, in this state non-doing, everything necessary is done.

If physical matter is an illusion like the Buddhists say, and there exists more space between sub-atomic particles than matter, perhaps much more of what we see in this physical world is an illusion and we- unlike Schroedinger’s cat- are both alive and dead in the poetic dimension, biophysical functions aside. But is exactly our biophysical functions that let us know we’re alive!

Living people have so many requirements for what we must do to survive in the world, not to mention the social constrictions manipulated upon us by the expectation of the “Other,” debunkt authority, close-minded and loud-mouthed rednecks, and all the mundane practical activities to sustain a complex bio-physical human body miracle, etc. To be dead already is to have surrendered to ego-death before you die, and then you really realize that you are not your body, and other peoples’ opinions of you matter way less than your ability to own that moment in a small fraction of space and time that you will never see again. You are at peace with the constant change that is the death of every moment and every expectation of a predictable future.

Ego-death spiritual diatribes aside, unless I am naïve to the non-existent eating habits of certain exotic insects that live off air and fucking, I know I am a living being because I require a constant input of food to create energy to function. Corpses have the luxury of not needing 3 meals a day. I sometimes feel eating is such a waste of precious time I could be devoting to less mundane and more existentionally delicious matters.

But I digress, other laymen and scientists might say we know we are living systems because we move, have a carbon-based molecular chemical composition, are capable of reproducing. Sometimes when I menstruate, I feel like I am living and dying all at the same time.

Biophysics and Oriental Medicine

According to Wikipedia, “Biophysics is an interdisciplinary science that uses the methods of physical science to study biological systems.” That is exactly what acupuncture is based upon: methods of physical science to study biological systems, with the addition of some mystical wisdom of sages who surmise the biological basis of your dreams. For instance, “When the heart is weak, one dreams of fires. If the dream takes place in summertime, one dreams of volcanic eruptions.” This is one of the mystical/psychological- even Jungian- sides of Oriental medicine that is not based on biophysics.

Most importantly, Chinese medicine looks at the physiological functions and interrelations between organs, meridians, points, etc., to gain a holistic view at how we biologically function. Research has been conducted as to the physical properties of points and channels and the cellular effects of acupuncture in an article called, “The Biophysics of Acupuncture: Emerging Patterns From Selected Studies.”

1. Richard F. Hobbs III. Medical Acupuncture. December 2009, 21(4): 251-256. doi:10.1089/acu.2009.0710.

A New Synthesis

My E-Prime Day

I remember feeling like I woke up from a dream, and then experienced myself biting an apple, first thing in the morning, enjoying what tasted like delicious crunchy sweetness. I then remember calling my best girlfriend on the phone. After communicating with Tracy, I stretched out into various yoga positions and performed what felt to be a powerful self-healing on my ovaries and uterus. I felt myself lie down and vocalize various Buddhist and Hindu mantras. I experienced stuffing myself with cereal and almond milk, putting on clothes, and going shopping for pillows and clothes at Thrift Town. By the time I got home, the sun appeared to be gone. I walked to the Chinese restaurant in seemingly close proximity to my house, then walked home and studied the rest of the night before falling asleep.

Can I synthesize East and West?

There are many findings from Quantum Physics that confirm Eastern mystical wisdom. Quantum physics confirms this ancient Buddhist gem of wisdom: “Everything is empty.” If you look at an atom, you can see that most of the atom is composed of empty space. The portion of space occupied by actual sub-atomic particles is actually very small. If you were able to bunch up all of these sub-atomic into one space- somehow getting rid of all the empty space- you could fit all the sub-atomic matter that composes the human body onto the head of a pin.

After studying years of body-mind and mystical practices such as yoga, chi gong, and meditation, many practitioners developed what are called “siddhis.” Siddhis are a fancy way of saying “metaphysical superpowers.” Some practitioners are able to perform telekinesis- moving things with their minds. Knowing that the observed changes according to the expectation of the observer and knowing that most of all matter is space, it seems natural that matter would accordingly adjust themselves to our thoughts. Since matter is also composed of so little actual physical material, it seems like something like thought could easily influence space that most matter is made of and that the physical matter would be an easy shoe along. If one can merely suspend their belief system of a world of concrete and material reality not directly influenced by thought, then we might see physical matter defying laws of so-called reality.

Classical Physics

Newton’s Three Laws and Me

The 1^st Law states: “Objects at rest remain at rest, and objects in motion remain in motion in a straight line at constant velocity. A force must be applied to change the state of motion of an object.” I can only reminisce on the times I’ve done Sufi spinning only to have a very hard time slowing myself down to a stop once I’ve spun for awhile. I become a high-velocity tranced out time traveller in my imagination, and it would take the force akin to a MAC truck to slow me down, ie, “change the state of motion of an object.”

The 2^nd Law states: “The acceleration of an object is directly proportional to the force acting on it, and inversely proportional to its mass.” Now I reminisce on my daily bike rides and the force my legs exert on the pedals, which is directly proportional to the acceleration of my bike. I had a heavier bike before- and due to acceleration being inversely proportional to its mass- the heavier bike was harder to get started on a hill than my lighter bike.

The 3^rd Law states: “If two objects interact, say in a collision, the force exerted by object 1 on object 2 is matched by a force exerted by object 2 on object 1 of the same size, but in the opposite direction.” If two pool balls hit each other, clearly one goes in one direction and the other goes in the opposite direction.

Our Energy Efficient Culture

Our culture is obviously not energy efficient, or else we would have more sustainable permaculture communities that use energy more wisely. If we were more energy efficient, we would use solar panels; the sun is the most constant source of free energy that is not a wasteful form of energy. As it is, our culture depends on things like combustion and the burning of fossil fuels, all of which take a lot of energy. Because energy can neither be created nor destroyed- the energy of the fuel getting burned changes forms into smoke and pollution, which then go into our atmosphere to wreak even more energetic havoc on all sorts of levels. In the process of burning fossil fuels and changing it to a less concentrated form, there is energy that is lost in the process. The energy that is lost in the process turns into heat. It is no surprise then, that well into the Industrial Age, we have seen the rise of Global Warming.

Descartes has a lot to answer for!

Cartesian dualism has blinded us in so many ways: psychologically, scientifically, spiritually, environmentally, and existentially. It would be a very sad world if indeed “We though therefore we Are,” meaning- the brain was the source of consciousness emanating reality without some Greater Mind or Guiding Spirit not separate from us- helping to co-create reality w/o our conscious knowledge. A world ruled by a Cartesian mechanistic system of looking at reality cut us off from our inner knowing and feelings of interconnectedness with each other. In a world in which we live under the illusion of separation, we hold ourselves less accountable for the negative effects we have on other people. We are not just a product of our physiological underpinnings, but complex multi-dimensional creatures influenced by a Universe that is alive and teeming with consciousness in every part. We are not just the sum of our parts, but a holistic whole with certain non-deterministic, non-mechanistic tendencies towards chaos that clearly show us an unpredictable model of human behavior that does not conceed to a clear-cut cause-and-effect cookie cutter formula. Perhaps the most catastrophic effect of Cartesian dualism is the West’s obsession with controlling nature and the notion that we are separate from nature, which has led to mass ecological disaster. One of the most extreme examples of this from recent history was the British Petroleum oil spill and the government’s attempt to hide the oil by dumping massive amounts of corexit, which is a toxic chemical that I believe had devastating affects on the ocean’s ecology. In the year that followed the oil spill, there were reports from all over the world about mass populations of fish, birds, and octopus dying all over the planet. Clearly- we are not separate from nature, neither is anything is nature separated from any other part of nature. Harm to one part of the ecosystem will spread out like a Doppler Effect of fractaled chaos spun sorely towards entropy, and worse, nihilism and death.

Chaos Theory

Ordered Chaos- does this sound familiar?

Autopoiesis and entropy dynamically balance each other, lending more credence towards the self-regulation of ordered chaos. Entropy spontaneously creates disorder out of ordered contexts, and autopoiesis does the opposite by spontaneously creating order from a disordered context. These two work in harmony, preventing systems from becoming static or too chaotic and relationally incompetent.

Because everything is interconnected, we would expect that chaos in one part of the system would affect another part of the system. There is a kind of complex order and probability to the patterns of chaos that emerge along the arrow of time as variables shift and affect the whole system. However, a chaotic system- is by definition- unpredictable and especially so if one tries to determine probable outcomes too far in the future. Whatever micro changes that happen to the system will most definitely affect the macrosystem, since micro and macro are inseparable.

Fractals as Patterns of Complex Systems

Fractals are very different from the solid Platonic shapes envisioned by the Greeks, ie, triangles, squares, and pyramids. When examining the details of a fractal, any particular detail of the fractal can be magnified to show yet more detail. Some fractals are self-similar in that a particular shape is repeated under greater and greater magnification. Nature has exhibited fractals in a number of natural phenomena. The human lungs, brain, and circulatory system- including the pattern of a heartbeat- all exhibit a fractal nature. Clouds, coastlines, river deltas, weather patterns, cracks in metals, electronic noise in a receiver, insterstellar dust, gusts of wind, tree branches, broccoli, and even the stock market exhibit fractal patterns.

Consciousness out of Chaos

Because consciousness helps shape physical reality down to the way sub-atomic particles behave- such changes will ultimately cause mutations to physical reality on the macro scale since micro and macro are interconnected. By affecting physical reality on a microcosmic level with our consciousness, we therefore affect physical reality of the macrocosm.

Connectionist models of thinking, based on Neural Networks in the brain- often display chaotic modes of behavior. Their Attractors are often Strange Attractors, which has led some theorists to suggest that concentration, decision-making, and commonly recognizable patterns or states of human behavior (such as personality types) may result from brain chaos. There has also been suggestions that Jungian archetypes may be strange attractors.

Online Physics Fun
The first experiment I tried was a bust, and I wound up with saliva all over my computer screen, trying to see the different colors through the drool on the magenta box. I then checked out a version of the American flag where the blue part with white stars was instead yellow with black stars; the red stripes were turquoise, and the white stripes were black. It was quite interesting to stare at the flag for a minute and then look at a white part of the computer screen to see the normal American flag in all its traditional colors, albeit a quick after-image that quickly faded from my mind's eye.

Vibrations

Are all Vbrations Good?

Of course not! Do you feel good when you listen to the vibrations of every single voice you hear? Don’t the vibrations of high-pitched, nasal voices get under your skin? When you meet someone with bad energy, doesn’t the vague and queasy sense of dark vibration emanating from them creep you out? How would you contrast this to the feeling of vibrations that stream from a mountain lake surrounded by trees? It is not just the vibrations of color and visual sense that give us reason to make quality judgments about vibrations. Some vibrations have the power to elevate a person’s consciousness. We can hear this in a favorite piece of music, a beautiful nature scene, and the vibrations that emanate from crystal singing bowls. Other vibrations can make a person feel downright lousy. We instantly turn the radio off when it gets filled with too much static because these bad vibrations cause us mental and emotional stress. It’s funny, because the day I wrote this blog, “Good Vibrations” came on via shuffle syncrhonistically on my Ipod.

Resonance in My World

I am a singer who practices bhakti yoga and chakra chanting.  Resonance makes its peculiar presence known to me when I chant next to my crystal singing bowls and hit a frequency that activates the toning of the bowl without even touching it. When I think of resonance, I also think of emotional and energetic resonance (or lack thereof) upon meeting people. Like frequencies attract similar frequencies when it comes to befriending people. There is a sense of familiarity we have when we meet certain people, and part of this is because we have a vibrational resonance with them. I wondered how was it that anyone would ever want to hang out on the corner of Mission and 16^th, a block in my neighborhood where all the crackheads hang out. Even if you were a crackhead and needed to score some dope, why on Earth would you to want to hang out on this corner for fun after you’d gotten your fix? And the answer to that is very simple. Everyones’ vibrations find resonance- or similar frequency- to similar vibrations, in this case, the vibrations of the crackhead and prostitute corner.

Connections I Can Make between Energy and Qi

Though most people think of Qi and energy as interchangeable phenomena (and certainly Qi can be energy), my TCM professor says Qi is matter. Knowing the e=mc(squared) equation from Einstein- which says energy is matter times the speed of light squared- we can see the intimate connection between matter and energy and perhaps draw less distinction between the two. Have we grokked non-duality or what? To play devil’s advocate, let’s say that duality exists and that Qi isn’t energy; Qi is matter. If we think of matter in terms of sub-atomic particles and quarks and say that Qi is those sub-atomic particles, even then, we cannot conceive of those sub-atomic particles as static particles that don’t have an incredible amount of energy that moves them to and fro. When we think of the energy that moves them around, as laymen- as opposed to advanced particle physicists- we don’t really separate the movement of those sub-atomic particles from the particles themselves. We cannot therefore- even really conceive of matter as not being infused with energy. If that is the case, then Qi is energy AND matter.

Symmetry and Sacred Geometry

My (A)symmetrical World

There is a point that when you touch the tip of your tongue to it on the roof of your mouth where the middle ridge intersects with the gum line- you can energetically balance the left and right hemispheres of the brain. When this happens, your left and right brain are having a meaningfully linked dialogue, balanced appropriately without one side being more dominant than the other. A pleasant biological symmetry between brain hemispheres has been achieved. Most people are not yogis or meditators.

If you look most peoples’ faces, they are asymmetrical, although this may be more a function of the assymectricity of the masks people feel they need to wear which often run counter to their private selves they only show to the people most intimate to them, if that. The right side of a person’s face is the face they show to the outside world. The left side of a person’s face reveals their private internal self. The right side of my face could probably tell you that I need to protect my soft internal self by acting tough.

What does this CP violation really mean?

In particle physics, CP violation is a violation of the postulated CP-symmetry: the combination of C-symmetry (charge conjugation symmetry) and P-symmetry (parity symmetry). CP-symmetry states that the laws of physics should be the same if a particle were interchanged with its antiparticle (C symmetry), and left and right were swapped (P symmetry). The discovery of CP violation in 1964 in the decays of neutral kaons resulted in the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1980 for its discoverers James Cronin and Val Fitch.

The kind of CP violation discovered in 1964 was linked to the fact that neutral kaons can transform into their antiparticles (in which each quark is replaced with the other's antiquark) and vice versa, but such transformation does not occur with exactly the same probability in both directions; this is called indirect CP violation.

Are there connections between Sacred Geometry and Physics?

Being mathematically, mystically, and aesthetically sound, there are definite connections between Sacred Geometry and Physics. Both the I-Ching and the Buddhist and Hindu mandalas were intended to reveal deep and abstract information about time, higher dimensions, and higher states of consciousness. The I-Ching’s 64 hexes correspond to the 64-codon structure of human DNA. Mandalas help yogis enter into deep trance states. The Kabbalistic Tree of Life depicts 10 sephiroth with one hidden sephiroth which could be connected to the 11 dimensions postulated by string theory. Certain kabalastic writings which talked about the nature of spirit and body were pretty much direct metaphors of the relationship between energy and matter as explained in the Theory of Relativity. The Golden Mean or Ratio- developed by Fibonacci- revealed a certain proportion that was found in numerous spirals in nature: structures of galaxies, event horizons of black holes, the way the pyramids are laid out, even the molecular components of life. Who know science, math, magic, and metaphysics could be so intrixably connected before Chaos Theory and Quantum Reality became the new memes of the millennium and perhaps Universal truths beyond that?

Energy, Matter, & the Four Forces

How has e=mc2 affected me?

Considering that e=mc2 is the secret of stellar energy, I can only say that as a starseed and someone whose spirit is more oriented towards Sirius versus Earth in terms of my soul’s origin, my interest lies in studying the Sirian binary system and how e=mc2 affects Sirius.

According to Wikipedia, “Sirius A is about twice as massive as the Sun and has an absolute visual magnitude of 1.42. It is 25 times more luminous than the Sun,”. E=mc2 means that the energy contained in a piece of matter is equal to the mass of the matter multiplied by the speed of light squared, which is a huge number. For Sirius A to be twice as massive as the sun means that it is also converting an incredible amount of mass into energy, which would explain why Sirius A is the brightest star in the night sky.

How would you compare the four “forces?”

The Strong Nuclear Force is limited to subatomic distances and its job is to keep quarks together inside protons and neutrons as well as protons and neutrons inside atomic nuclei. The Weak Nuclear Force functions in very short distances found in atomic nuclei, and although it is stronger than electromagnetism- because its messenger particles (W & Z bosons) are massive and sluggish, they do not adequately deliver its strength.

Electromagnetism is 1% the strength of the strong nuclear force, but it is infinite in range, much like gravity. Unlike gravity, electromagnetism has attractive and repulsive properties that can combine or cancel each other out. Magnets demonstrate this quality. Gravity is the weakest of the four fundamental forces, but the one that is most familiar to us because we cannot imagine our lives without gravity. From our perspective, it would appear that gravity is very strong as it keeps us from floating into outerpsace. Although gravity’s range is unlimited (since everything in the universe is exerting a gravitiational pull on everything else), it is not as strong as the other forces.

What is the function of gravity?

The function of gravity is to hold the universe together. Everything in the universe exerts a gravitational pull on everything else. If not for gravity, planets wouldn’t keep their orbit or positions to each other and may collide into one other. It wouldn’t be a very orderly galaxy if Venus could just float over towards Earth and knock us all into fiery oblivion. If not for gravity, we wouldn’t be able to walk on this planet. We would just float off into outerspace and maybe eventually collide with Jupiter after touring the galaxy for a bit, granted we didn’t explode in the vacuum of space. Better get some astronaut suits if gravity ever goes away!

Stinkronicity & Tantric Connectivity Unraveled

What Evidence I Find for Stinkchronicity

I tell a tale of grief, unexpected resolution, and stinkronicity, synchronistic incidents of an unfortunate kind.

This twilight tale of stinkronicity that catalyzed me and my ex-husband’s break-up was when I met a man who had my dead dad’s namesake. I wouldn’t have been so dumb-struck by the eerie nature of this meeting except for the astounding number of synchronicities and the fact that his name was William IV, which was my murdered father’s name, number and all. He even had a IV tattooed on his wrist.

I actually met William through a girl I had repeatedly run into around L.A. in the month preceding our first meeting. That month, a painting of Kali (painted by my ex-husband) burned to ashes on my altar, leaving behind what looked like a smoke angel of ash. I had been running around L.A. in a too too and black rabbit ears saying I was Kali, and now here I found myself in bed with my dead dad’s ghost. Kali had her work cut-out with both me and William, and I later became his Kali and cut off some of his false ego. His presence in my life unexpectedly cut off some of my own false ego.

The first time I ever laid in William’s bed, I noticed that he too had a burn mark up his wall that he claimed came from a ghost wrenching a candlebra in mid-air, making the candle fall and scorch the wall. He didn’t believe in ghosts until he saw a shadow on the wall and the metal candle-holder bending by itself. He covered up the burn mark with a Day of the Dead poster. My dad’s real spirit later told me after my near-death episode that he had conspired with another spirit to bring me and William together. To add embers to the ash of this ghostly love story, William’s nickname was ‘Zombie.’ Imagine my new lover’s chagrine upon hearing that I thought I was dating my dead father’s ghost. How could I not?

Looking around his apartment for the first time, I noticed that he had a lot of the same philosophy books that my real father had and an Irish rosary with “Erin” (my name) in the middle of the cross, hung on the weight bench in his bedroom. Talk about heavy psycho-erotic emotional weight-lifting. In my adolescence and 20s, I majorly suffered from martyrdumb (me in blood on the cross of my own undoing). Besides being an art warrior who willingly let myself be a martyr artist to drill anarchy and existential torpedos into my environment, I was also a co-dependent romantic tragic, which I believe to be the result of my dad being murdered right before I hit puberty.

Meeting William IV version 2.0 had the effect of bringing up 14 years worth of buried grief on account of stoically deciding at 12 years old that I needn’t be effected by my dad being murdered. “Life goes on,” I told myself. Years worth of co-dependency, candida, ovarian cysts, uterine fibroids, and anorgasmia with men later in life, William had the key to de-frag my sexual motherboard. It was only through the poetic strength of synchronicity and ‘saving my dad all over again’ that I was able to surrender to orgasm with him. I never had a problem being anorgasmic with men again. I also helped him to become orgasmic with women which he was also unable to do before because of his own wounding.

To add to the synchronicity, he had a copy of “Surreality T.V.” which came in timely proximity with a spot I had gotten in an independent short called “Space Disco,” in which I played Bladerunner Pris’s evil twin sister. The original Bladerunner was actually written in my ex-husband’s trailer in Lower Topanga Canyon. One day, while walking to William’s office dressed in a clown nose, I found a balloon wand that looked like D.N.A. in the trash and brought it upstairs to his Hollywood post-production studio, where I saw a poster called “Witch Blade.” I set off some kind of weird cosmic bomb of anarchy because everyone in their cubicles started talking about the girl with a mohawk, insect glasses, and a clown nose. I had a strange existential almost erotic obession with zombie clowns. William would let me dress him up as a zombie clown and we would do unmentionable things together.

Later on, William became the post-producer of a surreal sexual performance art music video that I made and he wrote and directed a part for me as an Opera Queen of the Zombie where I sang Mozart’s Requiem, one of my favorite classical music pieces, the last piece he wrote before he died. William and I are still friends; I am still be-heading and pointing out the false and repellent parts of his ego, and I am currently writing a screenplay to help unwire the psycho-sexual shame bequeefed to us by Christianity that I know he will help edit when the time is ripe. My gay galactic drag queen ex-wife is going to be my co-star. Life in the Plazmodium gets rich when you’re writing the poem of your life.

My Thoughts Based on what I Know of Connectivity

In a quantum nutshell, connectivity is based on frequency; frequencies attract like frequencies. We become magnetic to the kind of energy we put out to the world. Quantum physics shows us our thoughts clearly influence reality, and that our expectations effect the result of the experiment on a sub-atomic level. Negative thoughts and habits can attract a crackhead prostitute wanting to know your social security number and calling you to rescue her from her pimp. Positive thoughts can manifest a boyfriend to help you de-program your childhood wounds covered in whip cream and a cherry panty sundae.

We are constantly sending energy signatures to the environment around us, and our environment responds by reflecting these signatures in the form of photo-reflective electron plasma that comes in the shape of people, places, and things that reflect our deepest desires and fears. We attract whatever we most think about and put our attention on. If we DON”T want something, we’re still thinking about it and can unconsciously manifest it. This is why people who don’t want relationships somehow always manifest them. (I’m not even talking about myself last week).

Perhaps the addictive crutch called co-dependency is an abused version of healthy connectivity: interdependent gods and goddesses who mutually benefit and support each other and create the universe through their sacred sex and dance. Who can think about this kind of cosmic shit when they’re just trying to get laid?

Which brings me to my next point. Kids, cover your ears, this is going to get cognitcoital raspberry fuzz on it: Post-coital quantum entanglement.

This fauxnomena can be rendered simple by this short story. 3 days after having my tantric lover puppy slut break up with me, I couldn’t stop obsessing about him. Sure enough, my friend Ricky Rivera missed the street we were supposed to turn- to see my ex-lover heading the other direction. The only thing I could say- dumb-founded- was ‘post-coital quantum entanglement.’

The energetics of post-coital quantum entanglement are simple. When we orgasm with a lover, we are literally merging energy fields with them. When we separate that joined energy field and still think about that person, why wouldn’t we synchronistically find each other on a ‘wrong’ turn? We are increasing the probability of running into them by putting so much attention on them with our thoughts and the fact that our energy is more mixed now.

At the core of tantric philosophy is the interconnectedness and interdependence of everything in the Universe. We are connected to everything everywhere. It is only our narcissicism and illusion of separation that tell us otherwise. Our sense of connectivity has been severed at its hungry ghost rectum root. Be careful what you put out, Golden Rule, 3^rd Law of Crap dynamics, yada yada.

In the poetic dimension of which synchronicity is king, connectivity is the quantum glue that holds this holographic universe up by the tentacles of its fractaled octopus arms. I hear octopi make fantastic tantric lovers, having eight arms and being synaesthetic communicators who can change the color and texture of their skin to make a point.

My cartoon altar ego ‘alien sexologist’ has made love to Octapesha’s octantrapuss in time-travelling comic books. She and I are connected by silly string in the poetic dimension. Octapesha tells me to remember my life is a waking dream and that he will always remove obstacles to communication for me so that I can adequately make a quackery of consensus reality itself.

Magic, Karma, & Causality

My Reflections on Uncertainty:

Is the cat alive or dead? Is light a particle or a wave? Am I pregnant or not? On a sub-atomic particle level, it is possible for light to be both a particle and a wave. However, Schroedinger’s cat showed us that with larger physical objects, it is impossible for the cat to be in both states: namely alive and dead, just like it’s impossible for me to be both pregnant and not pregnant, even if my fetus is made of tiny little atoms that obey the laws of Quantum Mechanics. Our expectations of whether light is a particle or wave affect whether light turns into a particle or a wave when under observation. This shows us the power of the mind in influencing matter. Material reality around can organize itself based on our expectations. An example:

There was a time when I lived in a very magical fairyland in Topanga Canyon surrounded by nature, with fields of lavender and my own art studio. One sunny afternoon, I was sitting in our outdoor bamboo living room, and thought to myself, “I need a hammer.” I turned around, and standing upright in the dirt, was a hammer. It was as if God heard my wish and stuck that hammer there right behind me. Now whether this hammer was there or not before I wished for a hammer, I can’t tell you for sure (though I have a feeling the fairies probably brought it to me as they were known to drop costumes and jackets that fit me perfectly in our campfire bamboo ‘living room.’) I certainly don’t remember seeing a hammer there before, My thoughts on this matter at the time were “I MUST be in the 4^th dimension!!! The veil between my thoughts and reality has become nearly invisible.”

“The next corollary to be drawn is that the mathematics of fourth-dimensional time are a totally different construct from the mathematics of third-dimensional space. It is absurd to apply measurements of space to define qualities of time. This was the root error of the twelve-month calendar and its offspring the mechanical clock: mistaking the measure of time for divisions of a circle in space. Rather, the mathematics of fourth-dimensional time are totally apart from virtually all the mathematical systems in use today, which are all a mathematics of space. Fourth-dimensional mathematics are fractal, radial and holonomic. The fractional, algebraic, and infinitesimally reductionist mathematics of space in some way can be regarded as being completely aberrant for never having been able to participate in a correct understanding of time. In fact, all of the rise of modern physical science can be predicated as a deviation for not being properly informed by the correct measure of time.” –Jose Arguelles

My Reflections on Causality

Karma Coma

So the Whole Universe,

Razberry Jillions of Eons ago,

Just Popped out of a Singularity,

Like a Shot of Energetic Plazma

From out of the Happy Genitals

Of Nothingness, For NO Reason…

Yet Spawning the Notions of Cause and Effect

That Rule our Minds Today.

Eastern religion could care less about the Big Bang,

But was riding right along on the

Karmic Elephant of Cause and Effect.

Karma then ran over Dogma, and left a pile

Of half-dead and guilt-ridden corpses,

Thinking they were the cause of their own demise.

Despise the lies of Original Sin Wrath of God Creation Myth

Was Isis the birth and Anubis the Death?

Was the Universe Expanding Entropy Caused by Egyptian Seth?

Was the Universe created from God’s tantric breath?

Causality is of particular interest to physicists, metaphysicians, and magicians. Metaphysicians and spiritualists often speak of karma (translated literally the law of cause and effect) which influences personal and collective reality. Karma simply means, what you reap will eventually be sown. Every action or cause has an effect, an observable outcome that influences our lives based on our past actions. Knowing this level of causality encourages us to be careful with our actions and thoughts. If thoughts influence reality (which quantum physics shows us it clearly does), then we would be wise to be careful with both our thoughts and actions to manifest the best reality possible.

In magic, it is said that for a spell to work, a magician must increase his or her wave function in order to more powerfully influence reality. Now there are many ways to do this. I myself practice tantra, yoga, and do a lot of chanting. I believe that all of these methods increase the wave function and magnetics of a person and enable one’s will to become more powerful. As magicians seek to shape reality according to their wills, it is important for them to understand how causality really works.

In the Book of Magdalene- by Tom Kenyon- Mary Magdalene speaks of the power of sexual energy to increase a person’s magnetic energy by practicing Egyptian sexual alchemy. By increasing magnetic energy through certain sexual and/or energetic exercises, a person literally becomes more magnetic in attracting whatever s/he thinks or desires. I have noticed that after 6 years of practicing tantra, whatever I want tends to come to me very very fast. The correct and sacred use of sexual energy then- has profound implications for causality. Increasing magnetics positively influences a person’s ability to speed up the process of causality whereby their desires create reality very fast.

Though Magdalene was portrayed in the Bible as being a prostitute, few people know that she was actually Christ’s wife and a Priestess of Isis whose sexual alchemy with Christ enabled his Ka (energy body) to become so strong that he was able to be resurrected after death. The priest class knew if you could control peoples’ sexuality, you robbed them of their power. The Church doesn’t want people to have power or control. It makes sense then- that they would intentionally distort who Magdalene was so that the secrets of sexual alchemy would be kept secret and they could more easily control society.

Is the Universe weird?

The more you use your imagination, the weirder things get- in a good way.  I suppose how weird the universe is depends on one’s Frame of Reference. If a black hole came close to a day-care center, would it suck all the crayons, dirty diapers, and little midgets into it? Past the fuzzy tentacles of the Event Horizon- would the rest of the Earth be spared? Am I day dreaming of Brown Holes where all the emotional crap of my inner world is being sucked back into the cosmic toilet of forgetting? Am I really here? RIGHT NOW? How do I know if everything’s an illusion? Perhaps I am here- and simultaneously living an existence on a parallel dimension or on another star system. Perhaps I am from aother star system and just a sojourner on Earth during this dimensional shift. HOW DO I REALLY KNOW except through inference and intuition? People think aliens are weird. Maybe aliens think humans are weird. Robots singing the Star Spangled Dracula are definitely weird. ‘Normal’ is the new ‘weird.’

The Meaning of Time

What attracts me to Chinese Medicine?

I have a deep and probing curiosity for holistic healing and understanding the mysteries of the universe as they pertain to the microcosm of the human body and mind. I have been fascinated by and practicing various forms of Eastern mysticism for awhile- more along the lines of Hindu and Tibetan Buddhist lineages- though Taoism was the first Eastern philosophy that caught my attention in my early 20s. I felt great wisdom in the simple poetic wisdom of the Tao Te Ching along with its connection to the natural world and elements. Also- I have had a private healing practice for awhile doing massage, pranic and crystal healing, but I would like to get certified in a modality that would allow me to have my own clinic, temple, or retreat center. I am currently raising funds to build a Native American church, retreat, and living facilities on Native American land in the Sonoran desert outside of Tucson, shared with me by my tantric Buddhist teacher.

What do I honestly think of Physics, really?

I think Newtonian physics probably needs an update, or maybe even an overhaul (I don’t know enough about it to really say), but I think Quantum Physics offers the keys to Western science explaining many of the seemingly inexplicable phenomena which mystics have known or practiced for awhile now.

I think in the past, mysticism has explained things science couldn’t touch, but I think that  we have a chance now to bridge the empiricism of the West with the wisdom of the East.

Quantum physics confirms many philosophical findings of Eastern mysticism: the effect of thought to change probabilities of the future and to influence matter, Emptiness (a Buddhist concept) as the interrelation between all phenomena and the space between sub-atomic particles. The actual sub-atomic particles that compose a human body fit on the head of a pin, meaning most matter is actually empty.

Have I ever experienced time “slowing down” or “speeding up?”

Once, when I was younger and home alone, someone broke into my dad’s apartment. While I was on the phone with 911, I saw my whole life flash before my eyes. In that instance, time seemed to speed up and re-play itself. Another instance of catastrophe warping my perception of time is when I crashed my car. It definitely felt as though time slowed down from the moment I lost control of the car to when it flipped over two times and landed upside down. It also felt like angels or some transcendental force took over the car. Miraculously, I walked away from that accident without a scratch, having crawled out the window of an upside down car that flipped over two times on a freeway in Los Angeles.

On a lighter note, I have had many experiences of time being transcended during meditation and especially Sufi spinning. When I spin, I feel like I enter a meditative space that is beyond time. This space of no-time could be called spiritual atemporality, where time does not seem to exist at all. I feel this kind of atemporality regarding karma accrued in past lives as well, where there is no karmic difference between the past and the present. For instance, during one of my staring meditations in the mirror, I was able to see a past life of mine and was given messages from Spirit regarding how that past life was affecting me in this lifetime. I was experiencing some of the negative repercussions of my past actions that were affecting me now, hundreds of years later. Through the disciplined chanting of a 100-syllable Tibetan Buddhist Vajrasattva mantra, I have been able to successfully burn through much of my karma. In the process of doing this chant, the negative feelings associated with past wrong-doing come back to me and I must experience them, feel remorse, and chant through it while visualizing Vajrasattva and his consort above me. Through this process, the cycle of cause and effect haults and past karma is cleared. The past has no more control over me and I do not attract the same things I was attracting when there were certain unconscious negative karmic causes involved.

My Thoughts regarding the 1^st Week of Class

I think it’s fascinating how the perception of time can differ so vastly depending on one’s Frame of Reference. I wonder then- how certain extraterrestrial civilizations perceive time as passing on Earth, and how that differs from our perception of time here.

I also reflected on the model of the hour glass and how our perception of time is speeding up as we head towards 2012. At the top of the hour glass, our sense of time is expanded. This correlates to the feeling of time in pre-industrial agrarian societies, where the effect of being in touch with the Earth gave one a sense of expanded time. Even 15 years ago, humanity by and large felt like there was more time in the day. I heard one figure a scientist had given about 5 years ago that 16 hours in a day then (5 years ago) was equivalent to what 24 hours was 10 years before that. According to the Mayans, the dimensional shift that is happening on Earth is speeding up our perception of time. By December 21^st 2012, we will be in the cinched part of the middle of the hour glass. After the crunch (and whatever strange phenomena occur during that time), our perception of time will start to unravel again as the hour glass expands on the bottom and we feel as though we are getting more time in the day again. The Mayans say that time isn’t actually speeding up, but that creation is speeding up, which is causing us to feel like time is actually shrinking. I notice this in my own life because 10 years ago, I only needed 8 hours of sleep to feel rested. Now I need about 10 hours to feel rested. I am often surprised at how much time has passed when I look at the clock and feel as though that much time couldn’t have passed.